30 de March, 2023

Being a single mom at 43

All women have the right to decide if they want to postpone maternity. But this is not the only selection that you have to do around the process of having children; there is the possibility of doing it with a partner or creating a single-parent family. 

Thanks to scientific and medical progress, being a mother without a partner is possible. 

You will read the story of Tony, who at 43, disced to become a single mother of Rafael and Diego through In Vitro Fertilization

"We're a single-parent family and of course, this brings challenges, but at the same time, a huge love"

“I’m a single mom, my children have my last name and this will give them the opportunity to experience love from another perspective, we’re a single-parent family and of course, this brings challenges, but also all love. 


We are the three of us today and forever. I’m a woman who decided to be a mom at whatever cost

I was 35 when I separated and I was already bringing up the idea of having a child, although I was thinking of waiting until I found another partner, I kept getting old and that tick tick got louder.

I was going to the psychologist for my own issues, and talking with him I told him the topic came up that I wanted to be a mom and everything started to come together.

I heard about a fertility test. I decided that I would do it and from there I would make decisions: I had a good ovulate count and everything was positive, so I thought I had a chance to wait. 

I waited and waited, and waited… until the idea of doing it by myself. When I visualized that scenario it was when I really wanted to be a mom, when I reached that moment of absolute reflection and touched the deepest and most genuine desires of my heart.

“Nobody imagined that at 43 years old I would be a mom” 


Doing a process like this and making the decision of motherhood is something individual, no matter whether you have a partner or not, you must be sure you want to be a mom, either to share it with your partner or do it with a donor. 

Being a mom is a unique and totally personal decision for women, that was clear to me, and also that gave me strength for everything that came. Nobody imagined that at 43 years old I would be a mom, it was hard to believe and even more so when I decided to carry my pregnancy alone.

It was a long road, so you have to be sure and have everything ready to start, including the emotional part. I recommend having psychological support beforehand and during the process, so as not to give up, don’t hesitate!

Emotional support makes it less complicated, it makes the process purposeful, and quiet and we know that stress doesn’t help. That made me feel confident about doing everything humanly possible, it gave me strength.


“What you need more than anything in a process like this is to be certain about all”

My brother and sister-in-law knew about my process, but my parents knew when my pregnancy was confirmed and when they knew how many children were on the way. 

Women who make the decision to be single moms know the scenarios, and the questions that they are going to face and there is no answer except love because they come from deepest love, it was a long road. 

I did my own research to find out everything and I came three times. By the third attempt, a year had passed, I already had almost all the money and I began to ask for details. The refund matter also gave me a lot of security because I felt that they were taking the risk together with me. 

Everything matters the medical part, the financial, mental and emotional parts because, in the end, it is not only about your body, you are taking your body and mind to the limit, and what you need more than anything in a process like this is to be certain about all. 

Of course, there were times when I felt like I was paddling in the opposite direction, but I knew I would have loving babies who would become loving adults and that’s the answer to the world, my reason to move on.

“Before being a mom, I had a life only for me, but my heart said something else”

I wanted to have two babies, I asked the universe with all my love and of course, it is not something you can decide, but in my second cycle the universe fulfilled it for me, I was blessed with Rafael and Diego

Before being a mom, I had a life only for me, but my heart said something else, and yes, you’ll face different duels, you’ll look different and your life will be transformed, there will be disappointments, hormonal issues, but the emotion of being a mom is much bigger than that. 

They are already 2 and these times have allowed us to be together. When the time comes I will tell them that not because they were conceived in a different way does it mean that there was no love involved, because when they were placed in me it was a complete, conscious act of love and that will give them the opportunity to know life from another perspective, from a woman who had the genuine desire and did everything to make them here.

I went through treatments, I overcame barriers, and ethical questions, I decided to face society and I had no fear of being a single mom in order to be able to have them in my womb and accompany them as far as life allows me, and be a mom at whatever cost.”


Want to be a single mother? 

If you, like Tony, are ready to start living the process of bringing a baby home, come to Ingenes to know the wide range of programs that we have for you. 

Remember that to make your dream come true, diagnosis is key to giving you proper treatment. That is why our team is conformed of experts highly qualified in Assisted Reproduction, ready to assist your particular case. 

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