8 de April, 2022

"Don´t you think about the risks of having a baby at 40?"

Inés decided to become a mother after having consolidated other dreams in her life, but she immediately received negative comments, based on erroneous ideas about the risks of having a baby at 40. She tells you her story, her fears, the prejudices she faced and how she managed to have her two little girls, Ilse and Ana Paula, with Assisted Reproduction treatment.

The risks of having a baby in your 40s

"Do you really want to have a baby at 46, do you really want to try, what if it doesn't work out, don't you think about all the risks of having a baby at 40? I've met a lot of people along the way who have said things like that to me, I'm sure they've said something like that to you too, right? But all those thoughts are just prejudice, I know that now.

Inés - Mama Ingenes at 46.

My husband Gabriel and I have been working for many, many years, we put off having a baby and growing our family, but there comes a time in life when you just want to be a mum and want to be a dad.

My sister was the one who called to make our appointment, I thought about it many times, but, in fact, I was so afraid that it wouldn't work out that I couldn't even call make an appointment was so afraid that it wouldn't work out that I couldn't even call. Now I am eternally grateful that she gave me that little push.

Ilse and Ana Paula - Bebés Ingenes

We are healthy people, we don't have any medical conditions or any medical problems that would prevent it, we don't drink, we don't smoke, I thought we were perfectly fine, but my age affected me because Iwas already over 35, that's when your chances start to reduce because of the quality and the number of eggs you have left. You think about all the risks of having a baby at 40 and it's a hard thing to face.

We spoke to our doctor, and although of course my age was a determining factor, he assured me that there were Assisted Reproduction treatments that would certainly help us achieve this. I spoke to my husband and we decided to go for the multi-cycle program with 3 In Vitro Fertilizations, but seriously you don't know all that it entails, you don't know unless you have spent day and night thinking about why you can't be a mum.

Ilse y Ana Paula - Bebés Ingenes

When you start your treatment you think that, if it doesn't happen the first time, well, there are still two more fertilizations but, when you go through your IVF and it's negative... it's so strong, it's emotionally very difficult, you feel like the world is crushing you, that everything around you is darkening. And yet, today that I am here I can tell you that I would absolutely DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN.

At the first IVF attempt we were very confident, we felt like kings, now everything would happen in the blink of an eye, but it didn't happen. And look, you are really aware that you can fail, they tell you, you've been through it, you know that, but it never ceases to be just as painful.

And what do you do after that? Well, you get up, no way, there's no other way, even if it costs you everything and you spend days and nights crying and thinking about it. It's about not giving up, standing up and starting again, getting up together, leaning on the love you already have for your baby, and going for the next cycle.

We took a chance, and succeeded in our second In Vitro Fertilization!

Ilse and Ana Paula four months old - Bebés Ingenes

My second IVF resulted in our pregnancy! Just like that, we had finally made it, God! We felt so grateful to life, to our doctors and to the whole world; and our excitement increased even more afterwards, when we found out that they were two beautiful girls! I came in asking for a little person and we left with two little cuties .

Now that I hear them babbling, laughing, shouting.... Ah, how my little ones scream! I see them, I hear them every day and it is such a beautiful sound. They have always been together, they will always be together, they accompany each other, they hug each other, they talk to each other and they even play together. Being with them means receiving good news every day.

My pregnancy was very good, but we were very careful because they were already here and we didn't want anything to happen, after everything you go through you are terrified that anything could happen, anything bad could happen, we had to do everything to keep them perfect.

The day they were born was a bit complicated because of the pandemic, we had them right in the middle of everything, but at the hospital they helped us a lot so that my husband and I could be there and at 8:15 in the morning they were born; first one and a few minutes later the other one, it was incredible!

Ilse and Ana Paula on their first Halloween - Bebés Ingenes

I heard my babies cry and at that very moment I knew it had all been worth it, all of it! Gabriel tells me that when they were finally born, he thought: 'I have just seen something I had never imagined, I have 2 daughters, my life has changed completely!' He was as happy as I was, everything was perfect.

It makes me want to eat the world! That's how they make me feel like a mum, I can do anything! Ilse came out very talkative and Ana Paula loves to scream, they are both healthy, healthy, from day one, and nothing else matters.

I know you may think it's easy to say, but no, I know what it means and I want to shout it out to you: You must believe in yourself! Don't stop doing it, please, if you can't get pregnant, if you haven't been able to become a mother, if you are thinking about the risks of having a baby at 40, put all that aside, you are strong, you will make it! You must try everything, trust in yourself and in your fertility specialists.

Gabriel, Ilse, Ana Paula and Inés - Ingenes Family

I know you have frustration, and I want to tell you that it will be difficult, and it may even happen that one day you will question whether being a mother is something you really want to do, but I promise you that when your pregnancy arrives, when you see the life you created and feel it inside you, all of that will melt away.

Being a mum is not like they tell you, it doesn't compare to what you imagine, when you live it in the flesh, everything you have done, everything is worth it for them.

We love our babies with all our hearts, they were girls planned, wanted and loved from the thought, from before they came into this world, and we will do everything in our power to make this the beginning of two wonderful lives".

Gabriel, Ilse, Ana Paula and Inés - Ingenes Family

You are over 40 and want to be a mum?

If you want to become a mother, but you are thinking about the risks of having a baby at 40, we want to tell you that thousands of women decided to postpone motherhood for the precise moment when they were ready, and today the biological clock is no longer an impediment to achieve it .

If you are over 35 years old and you are trying to become a mother, but it has not yet been possible, it is important that you go to a doctor specialised in Human Reproductive Biology, who will evaluate your reproductive health and offer you Assisted Reproduction alternatives with the best chances of success, such as In Vitro Fertilization.

At Ingenes, we have an Initial program for all women who want to experience motherhood after the age of 35 and are willing to do everything to achieve it. A program that focuses on identifying the causes that are preventing you from achieving that dream and drawing up a personalised treatment plan, carried out by a team of expert embryologists, andrologists, gynaecologists with a subspecialty in Reproductive Biology and psychotherapists, among others.

Come and tell us your story here and let us help you bring your baby home.

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